I don't get it. The one time that I want to do something, I'm rejected. I forgot the last time I had fun with my friends; I don't even have that many people that I call friends now. I'm so tired. Things keep piling up and I'm not keeping up with it anymore. I'm tired. I just want to do something for myself sometimes. Not for coach, not for my friends, not for my teachers, not for anyone. Some many things that  I just want to stop doing. Like, for example, living.
One thing that I wanted that wasn't academic. And I'll probably never get it. Never.