Time Flies by Me ...

Many many many many many things on my mind.

First off, today was the first time that I ditched school. Very first time. I've never even ditched a class before. It was nice though. I got to talk to my friend and catch up. I really enjoyed that. My day was going great.
After school ended, I made plans with other friends. It was rather confusing since it was all via text, but we managed. Grouped at a friend's house and then shifted to another friend's house. Ate at cafe spot and had lots of fun talking to them and making fun of each other.
Part of us ended up at my house and we just chilled until it was time for our band performance. My energy was still up and I was okay.
Band performance and the tour meeting after.
I think that was when my energy started to rapidly deplete. I just lost all motivation for social skills.
We decided to get drinks at Ten Ren's so that was nice. That was also the first time that I was seated in the trunk which was rather interesting.
Once we got there, I just hit rock bottom. I didn't really talk to them and I just kept to myself. I don't really know what happened. Was I just tired? I'm still not sure. One friend was rather depressed and I guess that brought my mood down a bit too. The other guys were obsessing over a new game and I just sat at the side staring aimlessly at the table. They noticed me and thought something was up, but not really. I don't think anything happened to me at least. 9 pm arrived and we decided to leave. Bill was paid, drinks were taken. I walked alone. Stoically driving everyone home, I just found solace in the radio pumping music in the background and the cold night air pressing against me. It was nice.
As the last person sat in my car, silence was eminent. He thought something happened and tried to make me laugh which is quite a simple task since I laugh at everything. He cheered me up a little, but once he left i just felt like everything crashed down again.
What am I going to do for college? How will I pay for it? What am I going to do? Why are there so many choices? What if I make the wrong one? Why do my parents always nag at me? Why won't they let me make my own choices? Why can't I make my own mistakes? Why can;t everyone just leave me alone? Why don't they see me the way that I see myself? Why am I even out with friends on a school night? Why should I even care about school? Why do I make friends? Why do I make an effort? How can someone's life be this fragile? Any decision could change a person's life forever.

Time flies by me, but I don't feel a single change in myself at all.