i don't understand how i could hate someone so ardently. my feelings of hate have never been so passionate. i was so close today. twice. going away forever. so close. why didn't i. there's no one to stop me. nothing to keep me going. i just can't wait to leave. to leave and die. just be gone. i hate you so much i don't want to exist in a world where you're in. you're the bane of my existence and i hate you.
i hate family. they don't support. they fucking pull me down and drown me in melancholy. i hate them all. i wish i could just die.
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