My Demons

Fuzzy lights bring me back the the surface; I can't even begin to fathom why I should be coming back, but I just focus on the fact that it hurts. Everything, my body, my head, my life is hysterical, crying in pain and sadness. Crying because of the one who left me alone on the street, because I was left to die, because every passing person didn't glance long enough to notice the dark bodily shape curled on the ground. Crying because I had made the worst choice of my life, because I had chosen to live in fear and frustration and sorrow, because I gave in to the demons inside of me.

I hear them now, the demons, the humming of their voices grow louder and louder and pulsates inside of me like the bass turned up on high. I want to run, run far far away from the voices, from everyone, from myself. But I can't, they entice me, they seduce me, they take away my will and force me to do their bidding, force me to draw a contract with the devil and become an eternal slave in his name. I so desperately try to jerk myself from their influence, but they have already tainted me.

I think back to my dreams, so innocent, so pure. Where did they go? The dream that I would grow up and get married and live happily ever after where I was jubilant and joyous. The dream that surrounded me in love and tranquility, that brought me safety from life's adversities. Why do I find myself in the gutter crying, bleeding, dying? What has come so that I, one that almost had everything, have come to lose everything.

The demonic voices rain on me and the pain that I feel explodes, ten-fold. I have to make a choice: Shall I live eternally as a slave, or shall I end the suffering and become one with nothingness. My weak will, my swayed emotions, my blind teary eyes, my infinite screams, my desperate need for escape bewildered me and I simply couldn't ignore it any longer.

So this is the life of the enslaved. Dark and bitter. Fiery and nefarious. Is this potentially the worst decision of my meaningless life?